So I got a nose job. It was many years in the making. The first time I got teased about my nose (specifically the bigness of it) was in junior high (middle school). I had a cute nose when I was a kid and then something happened. Puberty happened. Ah, puberty. It was not kind to me. It was vicious. Long silky hair became curly and frizzy. Acne. Glasses. Nose explosion. Menstration. Ugh…what a horrible, horrible way to enter adulthood.
For most of my life, I thought I inherited my nose from my mom and dad. They both had large noses and I felt that I got a double dose. I got the biggest nose in my family. Like it was saved for the baby, the best for last. My nose had several aspects of bigness which was confirmed by my plastic surgeon upon first consultation.
By the way, I never stopped getting teased about it. Really. My most recent ex-husband teased me about it (yes, he’s gone) all the time. At 44, walking in NYC a teenager called me a “big-nosed bitch.” One of my first graders once said that I didn’t need a Halloween costume because I already had a witch nose.
I wanted a nose job for a long time. First, it just wasn’t conceivable. Plastic surgery is not common in my family or in Texas (as compared to LA or NYC). Second, it just didn’t feel right. I looked like my mom and dad. Did I really want to look different from my family? Then there was the money issue. In the past 10 years or so I started saying that if I got any inheritance, I would get a nose job. Then…I got inheritance. So then I really did have to decide if I wanted this or not.
So I did it like I do most major things in my life. I just did it. I didn’t shop around for a doctor. I looked up the top 100 doctors in NYC and called the first plastic surgeon on the list. His office is in the highest rent district of Manhattan so that was recommendation enough for me. I went for a consultation. I put a deposit and set the date. For two months, every time I looked in the mirror my nose looked bigger than before. My only hesitation was how to explain it to my son. Turns out that was no big deal. Kids are very self-centered!
Am I happy? It’s a few weeks now and I’m still swollen and a bit bruised and every time I look in the mirror it looks a little different and the pain was WAY more than anyone suggested. And it does continue to feel like an alien mass has landed on my face. But I AM THRILLED!! I admit that it might be more psychological than physical, but I don’t care. I feel so much more confident. The only thing I regret is not getting it sooner.
It’s really hard for me to keep a secret, but I did a really good job before I had it done. Other than my family, only 2 people knew. Right before, I did start getting panicky and needed to tell more people. I didn’t think I’d tell because I felt ashamed, but the only way I know to live my life is to be open and out there. Being mysterious is not my strength.
Besides, feeling ashamed just sucks! Viva la nose!